This is about my humorous date,
For which the girl was late,
I thought it was funny,
But she must have thought I was a looney.
I’m not a poet so I can’t rhyme,
So is Kanye but he still makes more than a dime.
Coming back to my date,
For which the girl was late.
My best friend Alex set me up,
He must have thought it was high time I hooked up.
He did so with a good intention,
I would have fared better if I’d learnt the art of circumvention.
Alex is a musician, plays at a bar called Hum Drum,
The beer there is watery, but I go there for the Rum.
Let’s go back to the story my date,
For which the girl was late.
I took the girl to Hooters,
They have great shooters.
Don’t even get me started the food,
The Buffalo wings have me wooed.
The last one was a bad rhyme,
But hey, I’m not here to make a dime.
Coming back to my date,
Yes, she was late.
She walked in like the breeze,
I slurped down my Citrus Mist and got a brain freeze.
She said, ‘Sorry, I’m late’,
I said, ‘It’s alright, I know it takes time to sculpt your face for a date’.
Face sculpting is an art,
What she tried to do was a start.
I’m no artist when it comes to paint,
I could have done a better job in half the time and not faint.
She responded saying ‘Chivalry is dead’,
I said. ‘No Erica, that’s the chicken in between the bread.’
She should have laughed at this one liner,
Because she didn’t, I knew this was a goner.
I said Eric L’s the name,
You know the game.
If I weren’t any lame,
She’d probably be my dame.
I knew her name already,
She’d spilt whiskey all over me as she is tardy.
Erica is a bartender,
And here I was singing ‘Love me tender.’
As the song started playing,
I couldn’t help myself from braying.
The date was already a disaster,
I couldn’t wait for it to end faster.
Being me, I tried breaking the ice,
Told her she looked nice.
For a minute she kept silent,
I’m sure my comment on her caked face had her getting violent.
She finally said, ‘I’m hungry let’s eat.’
I was glad there were no signs of defeat.
She ordered a fries and coke,
And I thought to myself, ‘Is this a joke?’
Fries for lunch, really,
Man, don’t be silly.
My five year old niece eats a plate,
Every weekend, mate.
She sat and watched me attack my Bacon burger,
Wishing that should have been her order.
I started off with my five trademark jokes,
She would have laughed is it weren’t for the endless coax.
Long story short, the date ended where it began,
I said good bye, turned around and ran.
Thank you Alex for setting me up,
This is a sign that I should give up.
